Thursday, January 12, 2006
yeah....many thoughts ran thru my mind this whole evening...from the time i came back till.....now....read a few blogs..before i went to take a shower...tt was when all these thoughts flooded my mind...good ones..negative one...brainless one...everything la...
ever wondered why u started blogging?why do u blog?for whom is the blog for?when we type not so good feelings out...issit to tell tt person or let tt person know?or for our frens to read thru all the not serious..just for fun blog?(if so,abit nothing better to do right?)however,when we type bout those daily events (eg...today..after sch..i went to..bla bla bla..and den..my fren did this and that...den..i went home..and all tt *********)
wat's the point?to let pple know..tt u do not have a routine,dull,monotonous life?haha....or to let others know tt u've been spending so much time with so and so and how ya friendship is blossoming while the person reading it has been all left out,no invitations or being asked along(yes!i'm feeling sour bout this.sorry..)
okie..i dunno...
but i started asking myself why do i blog?to vent my anger?(den why let my frens know of the existence of my blog)....for wat do i blog?i'll get back to u on tt.
k..den i went to watch tv...and started chatting on msn with a few frens..and we were talking bout relationships..yeah...many have started to get together..while some...sadly..broke off.it's sad to hear break ups...and sometimes good news to hear of pple getting together?am i glad tt a certain couple got together?i wld somewat say...nope.but wat to do...who cares bout ya feelings so long as the couple's happy.just tt...i really dun like the gal..yeah....a *****...but...who am i to judge yeah?still praying and asking God to accept this person...well..i'm glad...God's been blessing me with loads of patience and love..and taking away all my bitterness and hurts whenever i feel left out.
yup...den it came to the topic of 'friendship'..wat does friendship mean to u?for me..it means alot alot alot alot...i cherish every freidnship tt i have.but can i say the same to the frens i cherish?
sadly..NAH!!!...yeah..why do i say tt? let me tell u a story..long ago(like a yr..or 2 maybe?)...i got to know this grp of frens..it was sweet!we had fun,luffter and everything...but slowly...but surely..the rest of em..started hanging out without me..going places w/o asking me along..yup..i had to find out thru blogs..and conversations(see!blogs does more harm den gd!)...and soon enuff..i was completely left out of the pic...how sad...being joanna...she nv show pple her disappointment..she just smile..and listen to every detail of their 'outings'...and slowly,she just started to drift apart(did it matter to em?nah.....they're gd frens ma)..
but thankfully,God blessed her with more gd frens.(although it's sad...but i'm glad..and thankful for the new found frens..they just came in when they left...amazing how God blesses even tho it hurts eh?)...and i still remember how their bdays..were always wonderful,memorable surprises...
wat did joanna get?oh..just nice cards..and present.(we didn't know how to surprise u..we ran out of ideas..oh...the surprise just didn't work out.)and joanna's yearly reply? "oh..it's okie..it's the thoughts tt counts.*smile brightly*...it's true.i do appreciate the card and the present..but every yr,i anticipate a wonderful surprise only to go home crying...disappointed.why?for all the effort put in into their bdays..all i get is some ****** and ****** thing.
so...my conclusion for this yr?NO MORE SURPRISES for frens..not worth my plan..and effort..in other words...no one gets surprises from me..anymore..anytime.i'm sorry.pple expects surprises..but do they even try and do one for someone?i always believe tt if i want something special..i've gotta be one myself first.gee..lesson learnt.tt is so not true..frens dun cherish u as much as u cherish em.so...here goes.yay!managed to get unhappy feelings out of me.finally.i guess i've to thank someone who was super unappreciative bout the person's bday presents...
this person actualy blogged it all out with names mentioned whatsoever...ain't it horrible?yup..because of what he/she typed,i salute the person's frankness and can understand the disappointment.unlike her,no matter wat,i'm still grateful and appreciative of wat my frens give to me on my bday...and i definitely wun give anything away.even if it's of no use to me..even if it's a disappointment.they do put effort into it.however,it really is difficult to exclaim with happinness..when u're truly disappointment.it felt...fake.BUT well...my acting passed i guess..noone has seen it..after these years...i guess..those frens...really truly..didn't understand me enuff...
and i wun expect anything surprising this yr definitely.since this friendship has drifted into a x-1=x-1 friendship.it's fine.i'll move on.i will.even tho i did try again for someone's bday this yr.well...nvm...thank God for a shop..which..allows me to get distracted..somewhere when i can put my energy into...to get away..escape from real life..well..problems.yeah...the shop's all tt i wanna concentrate on.who cares bout friendships gone sour yeah?when old ones die away..there'll always be new ones!yay!Praise God!
i've learnt nv to mention names in blogs.to protect the pple involved,and mine too.so i can't be accused of backstabbing or hurting anyone. :)
thoughts..all blogged out..well..almost!some...to be kept confidential.very.
Jojojoanna
is just simply gorgeous 5:32 PM