Thursday, July 28, 2005
as sonicfest draws nearer....my heart sinks deeper.yes..no doubt...our rehearsal was screwed.we all knew our steps...but why did we still screwed up our one and only opportunity up on the stage??i really regretted.shld have gotten everyone to do the steps without the music first.i shldn't just go thru the positions.we were under attack.there was no doubt abt it.all of us were nervous...we were anxious..and tt caused us all to screw up.felt really really discouraged.as a leader,i think i did a really bad job.i cld have done more.i shld have drawn closer to God..i shld have trusted Him more.i shld have been more firm.i'm sorry Lord,i failed..once again.we shld have started praying every time we had our practice.but i was just not firm enuff to get everyone to pray.I guess it's just nv easy leading pple tt are ur frens.and many a times...i just feel tt it's my inadequate dance background tt has caused pple not to respect me,caused me to have low self esteem when it comes to dance..and caused me to not have the confidence to lead.i was utterly disappointed with myself.Seeing the way the other leaders encouraging,spurring their members on..what have i done?all i did was look at the negative side.was my expectations too high?i guess..i became the leader by accident.because noone appointed me.i just became the liason between my grp and the committee.Thanks to jesher..someone i just got to know,who happened to talk to me bout soonicfest...who encouraged me.why worry bout the mess?God loves messess!!the messier,the better!!only den...can we see the glory of God..only den will we draw strength from him,only den will we trust Him..it's only den..dat our attitudes are made right with God.hey jesher!thanks man!i still can't stop thanking u!!Many questions are left unanswered now.but i'm gonna trust in the Lord.
was actually a lil pissed just now...because everyone was just so moody.another attack!yup..so i just decided to ignore the moodiness and maintain my cheerfulness.Just gotta be strong at this point of time.sigh..i wish i cld have done more for the grp.well..i guess i'm still learning.every event is a stepping stone.
Got my mp3 player today!yippie!!!too bad..it's not pink!!
Jojojoanna
is just simply gorgeous 12:55 AM